Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
