i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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