If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
