Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
