grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
