what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
