he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm passing your future prison.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize