his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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