i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
