i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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