i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
