i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
