We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
