You smell like stripper and shame
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
