So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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