and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
