he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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