Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
