So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize