I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
