people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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