you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
