omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize