I can text with my tongue
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
