I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
