shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
