omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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