He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
