Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
