I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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