The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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