So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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