Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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