I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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