I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
