His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
