hotel room ftw
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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