eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
