ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
