see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
