you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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