Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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