btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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