if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
