They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there was a trapeze. enough said
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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