butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
