My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
