Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
