But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
