just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
