i love accidental penises.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
