yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
