Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
