she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
