Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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