dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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