Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
