the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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