She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
