i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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