oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
