the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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