My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
