I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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